Monday, May 23, 2011

Those Chaotic Days

The physical move to Roorkee has been completed pretty quickly; the mental move took much longer. The first few weeks were very chaotic and I'm not sure what exactly happened.

My mind was not very well at that time: old memories lingered on. In the mess, I saw my old friends in each and every new face that passed. Perhaps it was then that I built up an image of a very nasty person; no matter, that suited me just fine.

I do have recollections of staring out of the window, scared that I would be left just studying and doing nothing else for three years. It was as though a full-length repeat of Sri Chaitanya was looking me in the face. I have no idea how this state of mind affected my behaviour but it did make me very fearful of others and thus, I would stick to my own SRE-branch changers in class. In that sense, I was lucky because I had Jihadi in my batch.

Change came very, very slowly. It all started with a few words of kindness from Chinki with some suggestions on what I should do. Eventually, things got much better, as we shall see in later posts. But those few days remain ingrained and one supreme truth has been established: we are all alone. Alone, alone, all all alone...

No comments: