Sunday, June 26, 2011
What of God?
One question that I have been bogged down by in the First Score is rather deep - is there God? Initially, I simply accepted it as a sort of fait accompli, going to the temple now and then and just closing my eyes.
However, when we left Hyderabad for Kochi, I actually disowned God, so to say. I became an atheist because I was so hurt emotionally. How could any God do such a thing to me? I found no reason to believe anymore. However, if Kochi was where I lost my God, it was also where I rediscovered it. For when a similar crisis came, this time to go back to Hyderabad, I found no way out but to pray with my heart and soul.
I prayed, I prayed hard, not in front of any idol but in my mind. Then, I prayed in front of an idol too. It was not about what I was praying to - I was essentially sending a message into the sky, like some people put prayers into the Wall in Israel. And it worked. Amazingly, it worked. The final result I cannot explain in any way apart from divine intervention of some sort.
Since then, I have seen prayer working in a few other situations. It is comforting to believe that there is a God there. However, while I have no problem with religion as such, I am absolutely against organised religion. It is meaningless - the idea that you have to pray to what somebody else tells you to; worship in a way somebody else tells you to. There is no logic at all to accept this.
First Score and I have come to accept that there is indeed a God, but He is unique to everybody. Organised religion is little more than somebody's fantasy, something that I cannot accept.