Monday, January 6, 2014

Mix-and-Match Movie

AKAASH VANI (2013)

Produced By: Wide Frame Pictures
Director: Luv Ranjan
Starring: Nushrat Bharucha, Sunny Singh Nijjar, Kartik Tiwari and others
Pros: One good song and one good lesson
Cons: Lame story, trashy script, bad acting
Rating: * of 5 (1 of 5)

After the roaring success of Pyaar ka Punchnama, director Luv Ranjan decided to show the good side of love and the old jazz about following your dreams. Sadly, the result was Akaash Vani, a two and a half hour assault on good senses, not to mention common sense.

Now, don't be fooled - despite the glitz and the relatively new stars, it is a very old movie, as old as Indian cinema itself. The story is all the same - family values against personal ambition, boyfriend against dad, aunty next door against mom. The madness just goes on and on with an extremely run of the mill story being ably complemented by a silly script that is essentially a compilation of the corniest so-called romantic lines from every movie ever made. The story is so straightforward that you could place a ruler along it, but the needless drama, or as we say in the Hindi heartland, नौटंकी , takes the very limited fun away. And if you add the terrible acting, almost emotionless, from all the lead actors, you begin to wonder how this one ever reached beyond the first draft!

There are two reasons why it managed to scrape a single star. One is the only good song in the movie, which had the right lines at the right time (the only such instance throughout the film): Bas Main Aur Tu, with lyrics by the Director himself and sung by Nikhil D'Souza, was the saving grace of the film. It did not make it bearable, but was an able distraction in an unbearably boring movie. And the second was one important lesson that every Indian man should have learned a decade ago (I can only put this in Hindi): बीवी कामवाली नहीं है।  कामवाली को पैसे देते है, बीवी को सम्मान।

For the final verdict, a terrible film that you don't have to watch. If you are even a mild fan of Indian cinema (aren't we all?), then you've already seen it before. (OTFS)

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